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Let’s Tell Some Jokes For Stoners!

Dad jokes exist on almost every topic. That includes cannabis. Today we want to tell you our favorite jokes about marijuana. If we missed any of your favorites, let us know on social media!

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Funniest Jokes For Stoners

  1. Why don’t joints last long at work?
    They’re always getting burnt out.
  2. Why did the stoner become a chef?
    He heard you get to work with pot.
  3. What do you call it when you buy a bag with your friend?
    A joint venture.
  4. Why did the cannabis grower go to physical therapy?
    He heard they help with strains.
  5. Why did the valedictorian get stoned?
    They wanted to be on the high honor roll.
  6. Why did the stoner become a plumber?
    He heard they have the biggest pipes.
  7. Why did the stoner call Nintendo?
    He heard Mario had carts.
  8. What did the cart say when they were tardy?
    I so late!
  9. Why was the stoner staring at his dabs?
    The label said ‘concentrate’.
  10. What should you use to fix a bong?
    Gorilla Glue
  11. I told my mom that I smoked a crumb of this weird brick and I’m super stoned.
    She said “Ha, sheesh.”
  12. A skunk walks up to another skunk and says ‘Does it smell like weed in here to you?’
  13. What do quarterbacks and stoners have in common?
    They’re always getting blitzed.
  14. Why did the stoner get lost in the forest?
    He was trying to find the actual Backwoods.
  15. I tried to get my friend to roll a joint on a DVD of Casablanca, but he said he doesn’t Bogart.
  16. I’ve never seen a joint spit bars, but I have seen a blunt wrap.
  17. How do buds record their favorite shows?
    Sa-TiVo
  18. Why did the stoner go to the Chinese candy store?
    He heard they have Mandarin Skittles for a dollar.
  19. Wizards who smoke Indica should be called Couchlocks.
  20. Why did the stoner make Keto edibles?
    He heard you had to decarb.
  21. What is the difference between Sour D and a public restroom?
    They’re both dank, but only one tastes good.

RELATED: 18 Hilarious Pickup Lines For Stoners

Funniest Jokes For Stoners

What Are Your Favorite Weed Jokes?

We hope you enjoyed this list of our favorite jokes about weed. Did we miss any of your favorite cannabis-based dad jokes? Let us know on social media!

Best Weed Pickup Lines

Sometimes you got to take a chance and flirt a little. Luckily, as cannabis users, there is no shortage of awesome pickup lines relating to marijuana.

That said, I doubt any of these will get you a date. We mostly wrote them for comedic purposes. However, you do you. Let us know on social media if you were able to get a date with any of these lines.

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Cannabis Pickup Lines

  1. Hey baby, are you a blunt? Cuz I wanna hit that.
  2. Is that a bowl in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
  3. Baby, you shatter my heart.
  4. Are you an ashy bowl hit? Cuz you take my breath away.
  5. Are you a hemp farmer? Cuz you’re making my heart grow
  6. Are you a dab? Cuz I want to nail you.
  7. Hey baby, are you a joint? Cuz ur smokin’!
  8. 4/20 is the most important date…except the one you and I are about to go on
  9. Have you ever heard of a strain called ‘Couple’? It is what happens when you crossbreed you and me.
  10. Are you made of Sativa? Cuz you got my head spinning.
  11. I must have the munchies cuz you’re looking like a snack.
  12. I’d love to T-H-C you again sometime.
  13. Are you made of Indica? Cuz you’re the girl I dream of.
  14. You’re so fine I would believe you were ground in a Sharpstone.
  15. I mari-wanna take you home with me tonight.
  16. Are you a joint? Cuz I wanna roll you over and lick you.
  17. If you smoke cannabis, then weed be good together.
  18. We don’t need a lighter when you and I are such a good match.

RELATED: Stavros Halkias – Podcast World Shakeup

Hilarious Pickup Lines For Stoners

What Are Your Favorite Weed Pickup Lines?

We hope you enjoyed our list of the best weed pickup lines. Which cannabis pickup line is your favorite? Let us know on social media!

The Superstition Of White Lighters And Cannabis

Using a white lighter is a big ‘no-no’ for the more superstitious members of the cannabis community. I remember the first time I brought a white lighter to the smoking circle. I thought I would never hear the end of it. Being a skeptic, I didn’t know what all the fuss was about. Apparently, I am a non-believer in the world of mythological cannabis lore.

Throughout my years in cannabis culture, I have heard almost every origin story in book about the superstition of using white lighters. I have heard that they bring cops to their users. Other people have told me that the white lighter is bad luck because it is reminiscent of the crack cocaine epidemic.

According to Wikipedia, the myth originated based on famous musicians who died while possessing a white lighter. This includes Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and many other members of the renowned ’27 Club’. With that said, they also note that this theory has been debunked as Bic did not make white lighters until after the deaths of many of these musicians.

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Regardless of the origin, one question still remains. Should you use a white lighter when consuming cannabis flower? That is up to you and your level of belief. Personally, it’s not about the color of the lighter, but the quality of the sweet flame that gets me where I’m doing. However, my recent bad luck streak may be due to my flame of choice.

Superstition Of White Lighters Cannabis

Do You Use A White Lighter When Consuming Cannabis?

We hope you enjoyed our breakdown of the myth of white lighters and cannabis. Do you have any cannabis-based superstitions that you uphold? Let us know on social media!

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why Joints Are Better Than Bowls

Are Bowls Better Than Joints?

Everyone has their preferred method of smoking weed. Like every other subjective opinion, there are elitists and gatekeepers on either side. That said, this is marijuana we’re talking about. Let’s get along.

Personally, I prefer joints, but I am not super picky about my smoking method of choice. I thought it would be fun to go over the pros and cons of different smoking methods. Today, we are discussing ways in which bowls (pipes) are better than joints. Let us know your thoughts on social media.

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1. Better Control Of Quantity

You can put however much flower you want into a bowl. You can take a couple of small hits, or pack that thing to the rim. The only problem you have is if you want to smoke more than what your bowl can hold.

Joints, on the other hand, require a base amount of weed just to become rollable. Yes, you can roll the pinneriest of pinners, but in general, joints need more weed to be rolled.

2. Customization

One of the best parts of using a bowl, or other types of pipes, is the customization aspects. You can get blown glass in almost any color and shape you can imagine. For a lot of people, picking their pipe of choice is a personal decision. you are purchasing a friend that is going to be with you for some time.

On the other hand, joints are disposable. They don’t exist after they are smoked. Sure, you can get flavored papers and blunt wraps. However, it is not the same as picking out a really nice piece.

Bowls Vs Joints

3. Less Sidestream Smoke

After a joint is lit, it is lit. Even if you are not actively smoking it, it is still burning. Sure, bowls will smolder after you take your hit, but it is not as egregious as when smoking a joint. While the difference may seem negligible, these little whisps do add up over time.

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4. No Paper Inhalation

When you are smoking a bowl, you are only inhaling the weed itself. Joints are rolled with paper. I don’t know how harmful rolling papers are to the human body, but it surely is one more ingredient going into your lungs. Obviously, there are ways to ingest THC without harming your lungs, but that is not the purpose of this article.

5. Better Accessories

Joints are fairly simple. All you need is weed and papers. With bowls, however, you have access to a wide variety of screens, carrying cases, and cleaning supplies.

If you are a marijuana connoisseur or just a gearhead in general, smoking bowls can scratch that itch. Who else has one of those pillowy drawstring bags?

RELATED: How To Roll A Joint For Beginners (Easy Guide)

Are You A Bowl Smoker Or A Joint Smoker?

We hope you enjoyed our list of reasons why bowls are better than joints. Let us know your opinion on social media!

Are Joints Better Than Bowls?

Everyone has their preferred method of smoking marijuana. Like every other subjective opinion, there are elitists and gatekeepers on either side. That said, this is marijuana we’re talking about. Let’s all get along.

Personally, I prefer to smoke joints, but I am not extremely picky about my smoking methods. I thought it would be fun to go over the pros and cons of different ways of smoking. Today, we are discussing ways in which joints are better than bowls (pipes). Let us know your thoughts on social media.

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1. Portability

Joints can be taken anywhere, and easily concealed. If you are going out and plan on smoking, a joint is an easy way to bring the party with you. If you are worried about the joint bending or breaking, all you need is a small plastic tube.

Bowls, on the other hand, are much more difficult to transport. This is a fragile piece of glass after all. Sure, there are pipes made out of other materials, and pipes that have covers. You still have to bring your weed with you separately.

2. No Cleaning Necessary

Bowls get gross and gunky after a while. This leads to clogged pipes and harsh hits. What comes next is the rigorous cleaning process that takes time and money. Joints are disposable and single-use by nature. No cleaning is necessary.

Sure, you can save the resin, but you can save joint roaches too. With that in mind, I consider both methods to be equal in that regard.

3. Many Flavors Available

Flavored rolling papers and blunt wraps can add a little kick to your smoking experience. The only equivalent I have seen to this for bowls are little flavor droppers. However, I was not a huge fan of them and I do not see them offered regularly.

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Joints Vs Bowls

4. Shareability

In my opinion, smoking methods should correlate to the number of people who are smoking. I personally don’t see the point in taking blunts to the face, but many people disagree.

However, I think we can all agree that a bowl is not good for a crowd. You have to constantly repack the bowl. You risk someone dripping and shattering the piece. Most importantly, only the first one or two people get the coveted green hits.

Joints are easy to share and pass around. Once it is lit, the work is done. You don’t have to repack every rotation.

5. Rolling Is A Fun Skill

Packing a bowl is just that, packing a bowl. However, when it comes to joints, there are many different ways to roll them. While it may take some time to learn how to roll, it is definitely a skill worth having.

Are You A Joint Smoker Or A Bowl Smoker?

We hope you enjoyed our list of reasons why joints are better than bowls. What smoking method do you prefer? Let us know your opinion on social media!

Today is August 8, 2022 and that means it’s National CBD Day! On this day we celebrate what CBD (cannabidiol) brings to millions of people around the world annually.

The wellness industry has taken notice of hemp-derived CBD throughout the years. Since an increasing number of tinctures, topicals, and smokable options have entered the market, CBD has remained consumers’ preferred holistic choice. Additionally, CBD lacks the THC’s psychotropic characteristics. The fact that CBD comes from a natural source is another benefit. Even your pets can benefit from CBD.

The Fifth Annual National CBD Day

Five years ago, in 2018, National CBD Day was established to increase public awareness. Back then, the one cannabinoid that everyone knew was Delta-9 THC and the public had little awareness of other non-intoxicating cannabinoids. In addition, federal law still made it unlawful to possess cannabis products. But the 2018 Farm Bill, which would alter everything, was in the works. The Farm Bill was passed into law in December 2018, making all hemp products lawful on a national level. The CBD industry we know today was born out of that.

The Registrar at National Day Calendar proclaimed National CBD Day to be observed annually beginning on August 8, 2018.

How To Celebrate National CBD Day 2022

There are many ways to consume CBD and each has its advantages depending on your reason for using it. Here are some popular options for ingesting CBD: oil tinctures, vapes, capsules, softgels, bath bombs, CBD topicals and roll-ons, baked goods, CBD-rich hemp flower, and pre-rolls (sometimes called CBD cigarettes.)

Reminder: What is CBD again?

Of the more than 100 cannabinoids known to exist in cannabis, CBD (cannabidiol) is by far one of the most researched substances. It’s one of at least 85 active substances found in cannabis plants, and it’s increasingly gaining popularity with people looking for alternative methods of daily wellness. 

Similar to THC, CBD is absorbed by the body through the endocannabinoid system, a group of cannabinoid-friendly receptors that regulates immune function, sleep patterns, and reproductive health. However, unlike THC, CBD does not bind to the main CB1 and CB2 receptors in the body; instead, it functions to control how these receptors and cannabinoids interact.

Is Delta-8 the same as CBD?

No. They are two different cannabinoids. Delta-8 THC is one and CBD (cannabidiol) is the other. They both have different benefits but the primary difference is that Delta-8 is psychoactive

Happy National CBD Day, everybody!

______

Related: Do you ship CBD to my state?

Related: What does Joe Rogan say about CBD?

How are you celebrating? Share with us on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

Stavros Halkias is no longer part of the C-m Town podcast.

The comic/podcaster/model recently departed the popular NYC-based comedy podcast that’s been a long-time partner of ours. He made an announcement via Twitter:

The reason for his departure was not made clear but he has been focusing more on stand-up. His recently stand-up special, Live At The Lodge Room, recently surpassed 2.5 million views on YouTube. Stavvy is a great comedic talent (and great guy) and we can’t wait to see what he’s up to next.

Cum Town, founded in 2016, still features original hosts Nick Mullen and Adam Friedland.

___

MORE: Stavros Halkias Live at the Lodge Room

MORE: Pod Don’t Lie with Stav and Sam Morril

Does Bradley Martyn smoke weed? Not sure.

Does Bradley Martyn smoke Delta-8 THC? Maybe.

Does Bradley Martyn smoke CBD? Yes.

Bradley Martyn is one of the biggest fitness personalities in the world (not just in physical size… but he is a mass monster.) He’s a gym owner, training gear and clothing mogul, Stevewilldoit’s best friend, honorary Nelk Boy, and a wildly popular content producer on YouTube and Instagram.

And Bradley’s not just some meathead– he’s an interesting guy with charisma for days. That’s why we wanted to sponsor his popular (and new-ish) podcast, Raw Talk, where he’s had guests from all over the fitness world and YouTube personalities (like Sean O’Malley, Mike Majlak, Bryce Hall, Lana Rhoades, Bob Menery, Sommer Ray, and Ronnie Coleman.)

Bradley smokes an Energy CBD pre-roll on a recent episode of Raw Talk in the clip below. “This is the Energy, since I’m about to go to the gym,” he said of the sativa joint. He’s also looking us to make an even better pre-workout CBD smoke: “Where is the pre-roll, ‘Pump’?”

He also said his preferred way to take CBD is by smoking: “The vibes are nice– and you don’t get twisted.”

Pump just might be Kushy Dreams x Bradley Martyn pre-workout collab. Stay tuned.

What’s your favorite episode of Raw Talk? Share with us on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

Today’s musical playlist is inspired by 420.

Includes music (and more) from: Doug Benson, Rick James, Wheeler Walker Jr., Styles P, Barrington Levy, Young Thug, Conway the Machine, Cypress Hill, Redman, Kendrick Lamar, Bun B, Brazilian Girls, Chaos in the CBD, and more.

What are your 420 tunes? Share with us on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

Available for both Spotify and Apple Music. 

#SmokeYourCBD

The marijuana holiday explained

Every April 20th cannabis lovers celebrate because… it’s Four-Twenty

It’s a day where stoners get extra stoned, dispensaries and head shops have sales, pagers get blown up, silly t-shirts with dancing pot leaves come out, and the cannabis plant is enjoyed across the world with group observances and solo celebrations alike (especially at 4:20 in the afternoon.)

As hemp and marijuana have grown increasingly legal in the United States, and cannabis culture merges with the mainstream, the phrase 420 has only grown more common. 

But why 420? And what does 420 even mean? What’s myth? What’s fake news?

And we don’t mean like “what is the true meaning of 420 in the way you would talk about “the spirit of Christmas.” We just want to explore the phrase. Not get deep.

Is 420 a cannabis phrase because of California Senate Bill 420?

California Senate Bill 420 was signed into law in 2003. It clarified the scope and application of California Proposition 215 which gave birth to California’s medical marijuana program in 1996. So that’s not it. That law was just using the popular term. 

Is 420 the police code for a marijuana for marijuana smoking in progress?

Nope. None of the states have a 420 penal code that has anything to do with cannabis.

Not even in California?

Section 420 of the California penal code refers to obstructing entry on public land (according to Snopes.) So that’s not it either. 

It definitely feels like a California thing though!

Okay okay. You’re right. We’ll tell you the truth. But first, we need to warn you: it’s kind of lame. 

If you want to opt out now then go read another blog. That way you can avoid finding out what 420 really means and you won’t be burdened with the knowledge that you’ll end up sharing at a party where you put people to sleep like a strong indica.) 

Explaining the meaning of 420

It started in idyllic Marin County, California. In 1971, a group of high schoolers in San Rafael discovered a map that supposedly gave directions to a marijuana crop in the San Francisco area. Allow Time Magazine to explain:

In 1971, five students at San Rafael High School would meet at 4:20 p.m. by the campus’ statue of chemist Louis Pasteur to partake. They chose that specific time because extracurricular activities had usually ended by then. This group — Steve Capper, Dave Reddix, Jeffrey Noel, Larry Schwartz, and Mark Gravich — became known as the “Waldos” because they met at a wall. They would say “420” to each other as code for marijuana.

That’s really it?!

We warned you.

That was weak but then how did 420 get so popular?

These NorCal smokers shared their term with a lot of people. It seemed to have caught on because members of the Grateful Dead started using it and their fans – Deadheads – did too. 

Then maybe there is a deeper takeaway about the true meaning of 420?

Is 420 about love for one another? Is 420 about love for Mother Nature? Love for oneself?

You’ll find the answer is inside of you. Check your lungs.

____

What did you think 420 meant? Share with us on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.

#SmokeYourCBD and #SmokeYourKD8

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